


What would I do?

by peachyujae



Category: NCT (Band)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Johnny is a fuckboy kinda, M/M, Pining
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2020-03-28
Updated: 2020-03-28
Packaged: 2021-02-28 23:28:06
Rating: Teen And Up Audiences
Warnings: No Archive Warnings Apply
Chapters: 1
Words: 7,095
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/23365447
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/peachyujae/pseuds/peachyujae
Summary: Jaehyun is in love with his roommate, Yuta. Yuta starts dating Johnny.
Relationships: Jung Yoonoh | Jaehyun/Nakamoto Yuta
Comments: 22
Kudos: 158





	What would I do?

**Author's Note:**

> Hi people!   
> I don't really know where this came from but whatever, this tag is DRY. I thought there would be more but NO and I can't believe it because Jaehyun and Yuta have a great chemistry. And we can all see Jaehyun's big crush on Yuta soooooooooo WTF? Come on, let's write more Yujae (Even if it's bad as mine lol) Don't be shy.

Jaehyun hadn’t seen Johnny for years now; the latter got offered a scholarship in America and he didn’t doubt it for a second. Of course, they kept in touch and they were really good friends, best friends, they had a very strong connection and no matter how busy they were with their lives, they always found time to speak and catch up. Luckily, when Johnny finished with his scholarship a month ago, he decided to come back to Korea.

Johnny and Jaehyun tell each other anything and everything, there weren’t any secrets between them. Well, that is not so true, there was one thing Jaehyun hadn’t let Johnny know, and that is that he is in love with someone. So there he is, watching annoyed at the way Johnny, his best friend, flirts with his roommate of two years, (and love of his life) Yuta, without being able to do anything about it. Yuta laughs at every joke and his cheeks get pink at every flirty comment Johnny makes. Jaehyun shouldn't be mad though, he had his chance to confess to Yuta, but he was too coward, he was too scared to lose him. Nevertheless, he doesn't like how Johnny eyes Yuta as if he is a piece of meat. Jaehyun knows Johnny is a good guy and he also knows that his friend doesn't like commitment and most of the times, he leaves his partners after a few months because he gets bored easily.

Jaehyun also knows Yuta, and even though his roommate has a free spirit, grows attached to everyone and looks like the kind of guy that goes out with every guy he meets, he is nothing like that. Jaehyun knows how thoughtful, caring and sensitive Yuta is even when he puts this mask on that makes him seem like he doesn’t care about anything. Jaehyun doesn't want Yuta to suffer.

Once they finish dinner and Yuta offers to clear the table and let the two friends talk, Johnny sits next to Jaehyun on the couch and throws an arm around his shoulder.

"Yuta is so cute!" Johnny whispers excitedly. "I want to bang him so bad."

Hell no.

Jaehyun snaps his head in Johnnys's direction, giving him his best glare and making Johnny giggle. For some reason, he didn’t think Johnny would be interested in Yuta that way, that’s why he invited him over to have dinner and catch up, because he thought Yuta would be safe from Johnny’s claws. That didn’t go well.

"Don't worry, I won't ruin your friendship with him if that's what you fear."

"Yuta is not like that, don't you dare." Jaehyun frowns.

In the time he knew Yuta, Jaehyun only met one guy the other used to date, Sicheng. They had been together for a few months when they had decided to break it off because Yuta's boyfriend would be studying abroad, and Yuta didn't want a distance relationship; he needed the kisses and cuddles, wanted dates and hugs. That’s what Yuta said, and Jaehyun found it so cute at that moment that he couldn’t believe the way he controlled himself not to pin the other down and kiss him stupid. Yuta had been on a few dates with some other guys after that, but that was it, nothing serious.

"Easy there," Johnny shakes Jaehyun by his shoulder playfully. "I was kidding, well kind of. I think it would be nice to take him out on dates. Don't you think? He is pretty funny to be around." He sighs before muttering a soft ‘so pretty’.

Of course it would be nice to take Yuta out on dates, Jaehyun thinks. That's his dream for the past two years of his life. Have a cute walk along the river hand in hand, while they talk about anything, then come back home and make dinner together, enjoying each other's company and end the night in bed, sharing kisses as they tangle themselves together to sleep. His stomach flutters at the thought.

Jaehyun feels pathetic.

"Whatever. Yuta wouldn't date you." He rolls his eyes.

Jaehyun was completely shocked when Yuta came bouncing to him, little smile playing on his plump, beautiful lips saying Johnny had asked him out on a date and that he had said yes.

"Why would you accept though?" Jaehyun snorted, annoyed. His throat was constricting, and he swallowed a couple times to get rid of it, but it wasn’t working.

In the past, when Yuta would talk about some guy he liked or went out on dates, it hurt Jaehyun, yes. But nothing compared to the feeling he got when Yuta told him he would go on a date with his best friend. Maybe it was because this time, he personally knew the person Yuta was going to date, and he knew how charming Johnny is and how he could wrap people around his finger in the blink of an eye. Jaehyun felt like he couldn't compete.

"What do you mean?" Yuta tilted his head, not understanding what the other was trying to say.

"I mean, he'll drop you as soon as gets your ass."

Jaehyun didn’t intend for his words to come out harsh, but they did, and he regretted what he said when he looked at Yuta and observed the way his lips were in a pout, and he was blinking rapidly as if he was trying not to cry.

"Right," Yuta cleared his throat and smiled at Jaehyun. "I'll go to bed."

"Yu, I didn't mean-"

"It's alright." Yuta interrupted, shaking his head. "Good night, Jaehyunnie."

Yuta was gone in a second, leaving Jaehyun to wallow in his misery. He knew how insecure Yuta could be sometimes, so why would he say something like that? He wanted to say that Johnny was an asshole who never committed to any of his relationships, but he only made Yuta feel as if he wasn't interesting, that he was just a pretty face.

"Things with Yuta are going good, but I feel like I'm missing something. And I have no idea where to take him for a date. What do you think he would like more? Beach or mountain?" Johnny asks.

"Mountain," Jaehyun replies instantly, "he loves hiking."

Johnny hums. "That will be tiring, but it's fine."

"John," Jaehyun only calls him 'John' when he is about to say something important. When Jaehyun has Johnny's attention, he continues. "If you are doing this just to fuck him, then please, I beg you not to."

Johnny takes a sip of his coffee and smiles. "I like him for real. He is nice and funny. I'd like to give it a try, you know? I think Yuta is different from anyone I've met before. Trust me in this."

Jaehyun wishes Johnny wouldn't have said that. He would rather Johnny would like to only fuck Yuta and that's all. But who knows? Maybe Yuta will be the man that gets to make Johnny fall in love, shake his heart enough that he won't be able to look at someone else. Maybe Johnny has what it takes to make Yuta happy every day. And even though Jaehyun wants so desperately to be the one Yuta loves, he'll be okay with Johnny and Yuta dating as long as they are happy. No matter how crushed his heart will be.

Jaehyun opens the front door and his heart almost stops at the sight of Yuta and Johnny making out on the couch. Johnny has his hands on Yuta's hips, and Yuta is making all these little sounds that drive Jaehyun crazy with jealousy. His stomach turns, and he can feel the bile at the back of his throat as he watches them. They just don’t look right together.

He clears his throat, making them pull apart. _Thank God._

"Shit," Yuta stands up, hands fixing his clothes and then his hair. "Sorry, Jaehyunnie. We- we shouldn't be doing this here, sorry."

_Damn right you shouldn't._

Johnny giggles as he sits properly. He doesn’t say anything more than a 'welcome home', and he has this smug look on his face that bothers Jaehyun a lot.

"It's okay," Jaehyun shrugs. It’s really not okay.

"How was your day?" Johnny asks, taking Yuta's hand and pulling him down so he sits next to him on the couch.

_Not as good as yours. I would have rather stay at home and make out with Yuta but yeah. Not all of us are that lucky._

"Pretty good, yeah." Jaehyun sighs and sits on the other couch, alone. He can see the way Yuta's lips had swollen and he wonders, once again, how it would feel to kiss him, to lick and bite those lips, to have Yuta whimpering against his mouth as their tongues rub against each other. "What about you guys?"

Yuta jumps a little, his eyes shine brightly as he recalls their date. "Oh! Johnny took me to the park where we rode tandem bikes! It was so much fun, right?" He looks at Johnny, who nods happily. "And then we went to a restaurant that I have never been in, they had the most delicious food ever. I loved it."

Jaehyun knows what they did. After all, he had suggested Johnny all those plans. Ride twin bikes because he knew Yuta would have fun and would laugh, and then the restaurant he had always wanted to take Yuta with him and make him try all these nice food he absolutely knew Yuta would have loved, watch him eat and get all messy because then he would have to clean him.

"Sounds good." Jaehyun forces a smile and goes to his room; with the excuse he has a headache.

Jaehyun can’t take to see them together any longer.

Two months into Yuta and Johnny's relationship and Jaehyun had never felt so miserable, exhausted and sad before. His chest aches every time he hears them laugh together, and he feels like vomiting when Yuta receives little presents here and there with love notes that Jaehyun wrote specially for him but with Johnny's name on it. Yuta is happy, his eyes light up when reading the notes and his smile stays on the whole day. So Jaehyun thinks his pain is worth it. It has to be.

"Why don't you tell him?" Taeyong asks before taking a bite of his food.

"Yuta is happy."

Ten sighs deeply next to him, he is so frustrated that he can barely take it anymore. "But not because of Johnny. Do you think Yuta would still like him if he knew that Johnny is not romantic? That he is not the one writing him the notes and picking the gifts?"

"Ten is right, man." Mark shakes his head. "Yuta is really sensitive and honest. He likes all these little gestures, but if he knew that those things don't come from him, he'll definitely dump him."

Taeyong grimaces. “I mean, we are definitely right. We all try to convince Jaehyun to tell him the truth, and we also try to stop him from keeping advising Johnny but… Yuta will be mad at you, Jae, we know him that much. And you didn’t even confess because you were scared to lose him so-“

“Taeyong, stop it. Yuta needs to know the truth; he needs to know Johnny’s feelings are fake. And yeah, maybe Yuta will be mad at Jaehyun, but he will get over it sooner or later.” Ten scolds Taeyong, shaking his head in anger.

“I think Johnny likes him though.” Jaehyun comments.

“No, he doesn’t.” Mark’s voice is high pitched, and then he chuckles. “If he really liked Yuta, then he wouldn’t be asking you ideas to take him out on dates or to write him love notes. If he truly likes Yuta, then he would be discovering what he likes and what not on his own, just like you did.”

Ten pats Mark on the back, smiling proudly at him. “That’s our baby.”

Jaehyun stays quiet; eyes focusing on the food in front of him, wondering what would happen if he decides to tell Yuta the truth. Would he be angry? Yes, no doubt. Yuta is sincere and transparent, and if he finds out Jaehyun is behind all of this and doesn't understand, which is more likely to happen because Yuta can be really stubborn when he wants to be, he will be upset with him. Jaehyun will probably lose him and he doesn’t want that. So he will keep the secret and make Yuta happy, indirectly.

It's late at night when Jaehyun comes home from Mark's place. He is instantly greeted by a smiling Yuta who is turning the TV off.

"Hey there, did you guys have a good time?" Yuta asks, his voice raspy with sleep.

"Hey, yeah we did. You were missing though." Jaehyun smiles softly. "What are you doing up this late?"

Yuta has an oversized t-shirt on, showing part of his muscular legs that Jaehyun wishes nothing more than bite and mark, his hair is messy and his eyes look big and glassy. If they were boyfriends, he would scoop Yuta in his arms and bury his face on his neck, taking in the sweet scent.

"I was with Johnny in my room and then I woke up at the sound of the TV so I got up." Yuta explains.

Jaehyun's mouth grows dry and he feels his chest heavy at the sudden realization that Yuta is wearing Johnny's t-shirt, and that a few dark spots cover Yuta's neck. He never saw Yuta like this, and only imaging him in that situation with his best friend, of all people, makes him want to cry and beg Yuta to stop because he can't take any more pain.

"Are you happy with him?" Jaehyun asks softly, his eyes burn with tears as Yuta nods and smiles.

"Yeah, I am. He is really sweet."

That’s it; all those doubts about telling Yuta the truth now become clear. He can’t ruin Yuta’s happiness.

"I'm glad, hyung."

Yuta gets close to Jaehyun and wraps his arms around him, cheek pressed against his shoulder. Jaehyun hates the way Johnny's perfume clings onto Yuta.

"You should find a boyfriend already; I'd love to see you happy too." Yuta pulls away from the embrace and rests a hand on Jaehyun's cheek, running his thumb back and forth softly. "I think the person that ends up being with you will be the luckiest on earth," Yuta frowns slightly and retreats his hand, "and I just hope that person realizes how amazing you are and never treat you wrong. I hope that person can make you the happiest."

And with those words, Yuta goes back to his room, to Johnny.

"Do you think Yuta will like these?" Johnny holds a box of chocolates in front of Jaehyun.

"He doesn't like bitter ones." Jaehyun sighs, picks the box that suits Yuta's taste and hands it to his friend before keeping on wandering around the aisles, grabbing things he and Yuta need for the apartment.

Johnny pats Jaehyun on the shoulder and gives him a grateful smile. "I kind of want to make a playlist for him, something romantic and sexy, you know? But I'm really bad at it and you know Yuta better than anyone."

"Sure, I'll make it for you." Jaehyun shrugs resigned.

"Thanks man! You are a lifesaver."

As they make their way back to Jaehyun's apartment, Johnny starts talking. "I would like to introduce you to a friend of mine, what do you think?"

"Umm I rather not, I'm fine."

Jaehyun doesn't want a date; he doesn't want to meet a new guy knowing he will be disappointed because they will never be Yuta. They will never be as pure and kind hearted as Yuta. They will never be funny and sweet like Yuta. They will never be competitive and caring like Yuta. Yuta Yuta Yuta, that’s all Jaehyun can think about. It feels like a curse.

"He is nice, Jae. Not as nice as Yuta but…” Johnny laughs, unaware of Jaehyun’s feelings. “Come on, we could have double dates and..."

Oh no, Jaehyun would be crazy if he was ever going to presence Yuta and Johnny being all lovey-dovey in front of him while he is with someone who he doesn't even care about.

"...also, how long it's been since you got laid?"

Jaehyun is about to answer when Johnny sneaks his arm around his shoulder and starts speaking in a hushed tone. "Yuta is a fucking beast! I swear, all that cuteness you see daily, disappears as soon as I have him under me-"

"Johnny please don't-"

If there’s something Jaehyun doesn’t want to know, is how Yuta is in bed. He can’t bear the thought of Yuta in that situation with someone that’s not him.

"No, dude, let me tell you." Johnny giggles. "He rides cock like-"

"Stop!" Jaehyun snaps, stopping in his tracks. He has to yell because he doesn’t know how much more he can take. "I- I don't want to know, alright?"

Johnny lifts his hands in defense and says, "Okay, sorry. What’s gotten you so moody lately?”

"I just- I share the apartment with Yuta, and I don’t want to look at him and get that image in my head, it will make me uncomfortable."

"Aaaah, I mean, I get it. One of my friends back in Chicago always told me this stuff about my roommate, and I never could look into his eyes the same way." Johnny grimaces.

Jaehyun feels bad. He shouldn’t be taking it out on Johnny, it is not his fault. Johnny likes Yuta, who happens to reciprocate his feelings, and he can’t blame him at all.

When they arrive at the apartment, Yuta is already there. "My two favorite men!"

"Hey baby." Johnny greets Yuta with a kiss on the lips, making him smile. "Look what I got for you."

Johnny gives Yuta the chocolate box, and Jaehyun hates the way Yuta squeals before throwing himself at Johnny, arms wrapped around his neck as he presses kisses all over Johnny's face. Jaehyun should be the one getting kisses and hugs; he should be the one tasting the chocolate off of Yuta's lips.

Life is so unfair.

Jaehyun can't sleep, he tossed for hours on bed just thinking about Yuta moaning Johnny's name this afternoon when he got home. That was something he wasn’t expecting at all, he didn’t want to hear it and now he is stuck with Yuta’s sweet sounds, (sounds other person provoked on him), on his head for who knows how long.

He gets up and makes his way to the living room, maybe watch some movie or TV show will make him sleepy.

It's half an hour later when he hears a soft patting against the wooden floor. Yuta is wrapped in a blanket, his red hair is all over his face, but Jaehyun can see the other squinting his eyes, trying to adjust to the lights of the TV.

"Did I wake you up, hyung?" Jaehyun bites his lip.

Yuta shakes his head and rubs his eyes as he makes his way towards the couch. He looks so soft; it has Jaehyun's heart beating at double speed. Jaehyun would like nothing more than take Yuta in his arms and kiss him lazily as he runs his fingers through his hair.

"What are you watching?" Yuta asks as he sits next to Jaehyun, too close if you ask the younger.

Jaehyun hums. "Some show about serial killers."

"Can I stay?"

"Of course."

Jaehyun is weak; his mind can't help but think about Yuta. His heart aches at the thought of Yuta being kissed and touched by someone else, and he tortures himself with those thoughts over and over again, every single day. He loves Yuta so fucking much.

"Jaehyunnie, what's wrong?" 

"Mm?" Jaehyun hums, he gets confused for a minute at why Yuta would ask him such thing, when he feels his face wet. Had he been crying? "Oh, I d- don't know."

“It’s certainly not about that guy and the electric chair, right?” Yuta shifts on his spot and places his hand on Jaehyun's cheek to wipe his tears away. "Jae, you can talk to me."

"I know, I'm just- I'm very tired and I can't sleep that well lately. I suppose it's really affecting me." Jaehyun lies through his teeth.

Obviously, he can't tell Yuta he is hurting because of him, that he grows sadder each passing day at the thought of him being with someone else, holding his hand. He can't risk losing Yuta.

"Come here." Yuta spreads his arms.

Jaehyun can't help but scoot closer and lean against Yuta who wraps his arms around him, keeping him warm with the blanket. He feels as if someone would be squeezing his heart tightly. Being with Yuta like this is all he wants, and he can't have him. And knowing it could have been him, holding Yuta's heart, that he could have swept Yuta over his feet with his words and little details, makes it ten times worse.

Jaehyun is in his room listening to music when a sudden thump makes him snap his head up. Yuta stands in front of him, eyes glossy but full of rage, his chest moving fast and his hands fisted at his sides.

"Hyung?"

"Do you even consider me your friend?" Yuta asks, clenching his jaw.

Jaehyun frowns. "You know I do, Yuta. Why would you ask me that?"

"Because you told Johnny everything he had to do to win me." Yuta speaks through gritted teeth. "I thought you were my friend."

Jaehyun's eyes widen and his mouth opens softly. "Did he tell you?"

This isn’t how Jaehyun thought things would be, his body feels hot all of a sudden.

Yuta scoffs. "Of course he didn't. I grabbed his phone to text you that I was bringing dinner, because my phone was out, and I saw that you texted him the comic books I wanted, the place where he should take me for our next date, and the love notes you told him to write." Yuta swallows with difficulty, a few tears running down his face. "What else, Jaehyun? It was all fake!"

Jaehyun squeezes his eyes shut for a moment. He stands up and walks slowly towards Yuta, afraid that if he moves too fast, he’d scared him away. "I'm sorry I-"

"Was it fun? Playing with my feelings was funny to you?" Yuta brings the sleeve of his sweater to his face and dries his tears harshly. “Did you guys laugh at me? At how stupid I was? You know, I could have expected something like that from anyone, but from you? I trusted you with my life.”

"I wasn't playing, okay?! I never made fun of you. I never meant to hurt you," Jaehyun's voice breaks. Maybe he'll lose Yuta either way. "He asked me every day, what would I do to make you happy, and so I told him."

"He never meant any of the things he said, don’t you get it? I can’t believe you played with me like that, Jaehyun. Why? Why did it have to be you?"

There's some kind of emotion in Yuta's eyes that Jaehyun can't pinpoint, and it drives him crazy because he knows every gesture Yuta does, every cry, every smile. Jaehyun tries to grab Yuta’s arms, he wants to explain and make him understand the reason why he did what he did. That he just wanted Yuta to be happy, but Yuta swats his hands away, and Jaehyun can't help but feel a sharp pain in his heart. He feels nauseous and incredibly weak. Everything is falling apart.

"I'm going out, don't wait up." Yuta says before leaving, ignoring Jaehyun's calls.

He texts Johnny and lets him know what happened, and the other tells him it's fine, that he'll talk to Yuta and at least try to be friends. Mark was right, after all, Johnny doesn’t like Yuta. Jaehyun doesn't understand how someone could let go of Yuta. How unfair things are that all he wants to do is hold him forever, and others let him go just like that.

The younger cries himself to sleep. He is not sure what will happen next, but whatever Yuta decides will be fine, even if Yuta doesn’t want to see him anymore. Jaehyun will understand and respect his decision, no matter how much it breaks him.

"Jaehyun."

Jaehyun hums, turning softly in bed.

"Jae, wake up."

Jaehyun flutters his eyes open and sees Yuta sitting on the bed, he looks tired and like he cried a lot.

"What time is it?"

"Three in the morning."

"You just got home?" Jaehyun rubs his face with his hand.

Yuta hums in response and the younger frowns, worried about the other being out all alone until so late. "Hyung," Jaehyun sits on the bed, facing his roommate. "where were you? It’s dangerous for you to be on your own at this hour an-"

"Why did you do it, Jaehyun?"

There is a long moment of silence; Jaehyun looks down, not knowing how to start or what to say, until he finds the courage.

Jaehyun tightens his lips, shrugging. "You were happy." Yuta whimpers, his head hanging low as fresh tears slide over his cheeks. "Don't cry, please. I hate to see you like this." He carefully reaches out and wipes the tears away with his thumbs.

"Jaehyun," Yuta hiccups. "It wasn't him who was making me happy, because he didn't really mean anything."

"He didn't." Jaehyun pauses for a second to take a deep breath, and finally says. "But I did."

Yuta looks up, locking his eyes with Jaehyun’s. "What is that supposed to mean?"

"Everything he said, the love notes and songs he dedicated to you were just a reflection of what I feel for you." Jaehyun says softly, suddenly feeling too embarrassed.

"Jae-"

"No, hyung, let me tell you." Jaehyun interrupts. If he doesn’t speak right now, he will never do it. Yuta is already mad at him, so it can’t get worse, right? Yuta will probably leave him. There is nothing worse than that, Jaehyun thinks. "Now that is all out, you need to know. I wrote every note thinking of you, about the way _you_ make _me_ feel, I made a playlist with songs I wished would make justice to say how much I adored you, how much I wanted you. I thought every date as if it was me the one taking you out, and the presents were details I always thought I'd give you because I loved the idea of spoiling you."

"I still don’t understand why you would help Johnny if you...oh." Yuta finally seems to catch on what Jaehyun just said and his eyes widen slightly.

"I loved to see you happy. When you read the notes, your eyes would light up and you would smile so big that I couldn't help myself, I wanted to see you smiling like that every single day. When you came back from dates, you would be so excited telling me about all those things you did and how much fun it was." Jaehyun sniffles, catching his own tears with the sleeve of his shirt as he thinks about all the times Yuta would tell him about Johnny surprising him, and how much his heart ached at that moment. "You were happy and that was enough for me, that's all that mattered."

"What you feel mattered too." Yuta shakes his head and then chuckles sadly. "I fell in love with fake words."

"They are not fake."

"They came from the wrong guy, though." Yuta frowns, his fingers playing with Jaehyun's hand unconsciously. "Johnny doesn't really think my smile is the most beautiful thing in the world, he doesn't like when I follow the dialogues of my favorite animes because he never noticed that, he doesn't like the way I look when I just wake up and wants to run his fingers through my messy hair. Johnny doesn't think I deserve to be kissed and hugged with so much passion that it'd hurt me, I-" Yuta's bottom lip trembles before bursting into tears once again.

"I'm sorry." Jaehyun wraps his arms around Yuta, letting him cry on his shoulder. "I shouldn’t have said anything to Johnny. I should have told you how I felt but I just… I didn't want to lose you."

They stay like that for a while. Jaehyun rubs Yuta's back, hoping it helps him calm down. Hoping it won't be the last time he gets to see him, feel him.

"I was the one who broke up with Sicheng, and the distance had nothing to do with it." Yuta says against Jaehyun’s shoulder once he stops hiccuping. "I liked you at that time, I had the biggest crush on you and every time I kissed him... I thought about you. So I was honest with him and left him because it wasn't fair for anyone."

Jaehyun freezes.

"I didn't say anything because I didn't want to lose you either." Yuta whispers. "I thought you would never like someone like me, you know? We may understand each other and have things in common, but we are also so different in many ways that the possibility of you liking me back never crossed my mind."

Jaehyun tightens his grip around Yuta. He is scared of talking or even moving, wanting this moment to last forever. Jaehyun doesn’t want to forget the feeling of having Yuta like this. But most of all, he doesn't want to hear Yuta say he doesn't like him anymore, that the train has passed and there are no more chances.

"Jae, I managed to suppress my feelings for so long that I thought I had gotten over it, kind of, but now I'm-" Yuta pulls away and cups Jaehyun's face. "As I said before, I fell in love with words and those little details that made my heart pound and my stomach get all tingly. And now I'm really confused because I felt so loved… but it wasn’t Johnny the one loving me. I liked being with him, but now, I just- I don’t think I can look at him the same way knowing what I know now."

"You wish it would be him instead of me?" Jaehyun barely whispers, voice breaking at the end as he leans against Yuta's touch, nuzzling his face against his palm.

"Maybe, maybe not." Yuta giggles. "Now that I think about it, those words don’t suit Johnny at all, and it’s scary how much I believed him."

Jaehyun is not stupid, but sometimes he is. He is also madly in love with Yuta and still wants him to be the happiest guy on earth so... "Yuta, just do what you feel. If you want to be with Johnny, try something with the true Johnny, then go for it."

Yuta pulls away from Jaehyun with a groan; he sighs and runs his fingers through his red hair in exasperation. "Show me."

"Show you what?"

"That you meant everything!" Yuta is annoyed, Jaehyun can tell from the way his forehead is slightly wrinkled and his lips are pulled in a pout that he wishes nothing more than kiss away. "Show me why I'm the man you love, show me why I should be with you and no one else."

Jaehyun blinks rapidly, trying to get his head wrapped around what Yuta just said. He knows Yuta is impulsive sometimes, he is not scared of anything, and maybe Jaehyun spends too much time frozen because when he realizes, he hears Yuta huffing and then, soft lips are pressing against his own.

Yuta kisses him gently, his lips linger before pulling away, making Jaehyun let out a sound of complaint, wanting more.

"Show me why I shouldn't be running to Johnny right now." Yuta mutters against Jaehyun's lips.

Jaehyun would be crazy if he doesn't take this chance. He thought before, about how stupid Johnny was for letting Yuta go, and he is not going to make the same mistake, not when he could possibly have Yuta the way he has always dreamed. So he grabs Yuta by the back of his neck and connects their lips once again. Jaehyun kisses him hard, with passion and maybe a little bit desperate because this is all he wanted for the past two years. He shifts on the bed and hovers over Yuta, never disconnecting their lips. Jaehyun threads his fingers on Yuta's hair as the other wraps his arms and legs around his torso, pulling him closer to his body, moaning softly into his mouth.

After what feels like hours, Jaehyun pulls away reluctantly. They are both panting hard, and Jaehyun finally knows what it feels like to kiss Yuta, to see his pretty lips all red and swollen by kisses _he_ gave Yuta. It’s more arousing than he imagined.

"I'll show you." Jaehyun whispers. He brushes a piece of hair out of Yuta’s eyes lovingly and leans down again, grazing his lips against Yuta’s before planting a soft kiss there.

The smile that Yuta gives him isn’t like a smile he has seen before; this one is bigger and brighter and full of emotion. It’s all too much, too soon. And Jaehyun is so happy that he can barely hold it, he just wants Yuta, in all the possible ways.

Jaehyun decided to be honest with his friend and tell him about his feelings for Yuta and what happened after Yuta stormed out of Johnny’s place. Jaehyun was hesitant at first because he didn’t know how Johnny would take the news, but the other just reassured him that it was fine and that he felt guilty most of all.

"I feel like an asshole, Jaehyun." Johnny pouts. "Why didn't you tell me?"

"Yuta liked you," Jaehyun shrugs. "And I didn't have the balls to confess to him before so..."

“It's just- it never occurred to me that you liked him. Because we speak all the time, and even though you talk about Yuta a lot, you never said anything that could make me think you had a crush on him. But, I should have known, I'm so stupid."

Jaehyun knows Johnny would have never even flirted with Yuta if he would have noticed Jaehyun liked him, so it was fine. Things were good.

"It's fine, Johnny." Jaehyun rolls his eyes. "Seriously, and I think I'm the one to blame. I could have told you ‘no’ when you asked me what would I do to make him happy."

“Sorry, about that too. Yuta has this thing that pulls people in, you know? And I thought I liked him for real.” Johnny sighs deeply. "Will things be awkward between the three of us now?"

"Probably at first, yeah." Jaehyun admits. Of course it'll be awkward when the three of them are together. Jaehyun would be lying if he says he is cool with the fact that Johnny and Yuta fucked. He is totally not cool with it. “But we’ll get through it.” Jaehyun reaches out and rubs Johnny's back.

"So... Are you guys officially together?" Johnny smirks.

Jaehyun nods his head, cheeks slightly pink as he smiles. He can’t believe he has Yuta all to himself after two years of pining over him. Yuta’s kisses still feel unreal. The way Yuta snuggles into him after he comes from work saying he missed Jaehyun so much also feels unreal, but so, so good. It’s everything he ever dreamed of and more.

"Did you have sex already? Did you see how good he- ow! What the fuck?" Johnny rubs his sore shoulder that Jaehyun just punched, giggling because he knows what he did.

"I swear, John..." Jaehyun threatens.

"I'm just kidding. I promise I’ll make as if Yuta and I never even kissed, I’m disgusted by it actually. So I’ll take those memories away from my mind." Johnny pats the top of Jaehyun's head lovingly. "You know, I always suspected Yuta had a thing for you by the way his eyes would light up when we'd talk about you, or when you got home from work, he would smile in a weird way."

Jaehyun tilts his head. "What do you mean in a weird way?"

"It was a smile that was exclusively for you," Johnny grins, "he never smiled at me like that, but the second you would enter the room, it was like he didn't see anyone else and his eyes would shine so prettily." He snorts, shaking his head. “God, I should’ve known.”

"It's cool, really." Jaehyun chuckles.

The thought of Yuta having a smile just for him makes Jaehyun feel warm on the inside. He just wants Yuta to come back home and cuddle with him for the whole night.

They hear the front door opening and the both of them look at Yuta stepping inside, he bites his lip awkwardly when he notices Johnny and says hi. The tension in the air is palpable, but it suddenly goes away when a loud talking Ten runs into Yuta’s back, dropping the few bags he has on his hands.

“Look what you made me do? You could have kept on walking instead of staying there like-” Ten complains, unaware of the eyes that stare at him in awe.

“I’ll help you.” Johnny is up in a fraction of a second.

Ten looks up at the unfamiliar voice, and sees the famous Johnny running to where he is to help him.

Yuta grimaces and sets his eyes on Jaehyun, who shrugs at him with a slight smirk on his face.

"Yu, when are you coming back?" Jaehyun sits in the middle of their bed with his legs crossed, his eyes following Yuta's every movement as he fills the suitcase with his clothes.

Yuta hums, smiling to himself because he already told Jaehyun this information. "In three weeks, sweet thing, you know that."

Jaehyun makes a whiny sound and pouts; he rises on his knees and crawls towards Yuta. He moves the suitcase aside, ignoring his boyfriend's protests and wraps his arms around his neck. "It's too long."

Yuta smiles wider, his hands grab Jaehyun by the hips and leans to press their foreheads together. “I’ll be back before you even realize, you'll see."

"But I'll miss you."

"I'll call every day."

Jaehyun attaches his lips onto Yuta's, kissing him slow but deep, wanting to savor the moment as much as he can. "The longest we've been apart since we are together were like nine hours. Three weeks are going to feel like years." He complains against the other's lips.

Yuta pecks Jaehyun's lips one, two, three times before smiling again, because he can't believe how cute Jaehyun is. "Well it's not my fault your boss is a jerk, and I can't push the trip back, I'm sorry. It won't be that bad, come on. We will have a lot of opportunities to go together."

Jaehyun frowns, pouting childishly. He really wanted to go to Japan, and he was really excited when Yuta's family said they wanted to finally meet the boy that was making Yuta so happy. But his boss had to ruin everything and deny his petition.

"Now, will you let me pack my stuff? The sooner I finish, the more kisses I can give you later." Yuta says, moving his hands upwards to press against Jaehyun's chest.

"I don't want to." Jaehyun knows he is behaving like a brat, but he can't help it when he knows they will be apart from three weeks.

"Oh God, you are so clingy, Jaehyunnie." Yuta teases, giggling when the other’s cheeks become pink in an instant. "Maybe I should have stayed with Johnny after all."

Jaehyun gasps, detaching himself from Yuta completely and going back to his position in the middle of the bed, but this time he has his arms crossed over his chest, glaring at Yuta, who is laughing softly.

Yuta finishes packing his last items under the heavy stare of Jaehyun. He loves when the younger gets all jealous because he gets to kiss his way into forgiveness later. And although it has been nine months since they are in a relationship and they trust each other a hundred percent, maybe this time he crossed the line at mentioning Johnny like that. Yuta knows Jaehyun is still a little cautious and insecure when it comes to Johnny and Yuta together, no matter how many times Yuta says he would never get back with Johnny, even if they break up. And Johnny is in a relationship with Ten now. After months of pining over him, Ten finally gave him the chance to prove himself that he wasn’t joking and that he liked Ten for real. Yuta still remembers Johnny coming to their apartment looking for advice onto how to prove someone they were honestly interested in them, he even pleaded when Jaehyun told him he should be the one trying to figure Ten out.

Yuta climbs on the bed and straddles Jaehyun, who is now looking away from him. "Is my sweet baby upset?" He asks, arms circling Jaehyun's neck as he places tiny kisses on the shell of his ear.

"Why don't you go kiss Johnny instead?"

"Ooh, you are not upset," Yuta chuckles, nipping at the other's earlobe. "You are jealous."

"'M not."

Yuta pulls away and looks up. "Okay then, I really should go and kiss Johnny, maybe he'll kiss me back or hug me before I go away for three weeks, seeing my boyfriend doesn't want-"

Jaehyun groans, grabs Yuta by the waist and rolls them on the bed, so he is now on top of Yuta between his legs. "Asshole." He mutters before diving in and kiss Yuta desperately, showing his possessiveness through rough kisses.

"I love you, Jae, so incredibly much." Yuta says breathless against Jaehyun's lips.

Yuta bites his bottom lip, his eyes fill with tears as he runs his finger through Jaehyun's soft pink hair. His heart feels as if were to burst out of his chest, not believing how in love he is with the boy on top of him. He never felt so happy before, and no one ever gave him so much confidence like Jaehyun does. 

"I love you too." Jaehyun smiles contently, finally having Yuta the way he always dreamed.

**Author's Note:**

> First, thanks for reading, as always. You guys are too kind :')
> 
> Second, I'm already writing the secuel to my previous fic, it should be up in a few days
> 
> Third, finally our boys got a win, they deserve the world and so much more
> 
> Fourth, I'm gonna read all the 197 Yujae works in here :) I'M EXCITED


End file.
